It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
