Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
