how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
