We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
