she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
