It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
