pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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