Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
