even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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