to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
