oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
