My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
