she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
