...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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