We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
