I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
