have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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