69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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