quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
