ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
