Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
