I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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