If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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