He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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