you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
