I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
