dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
