I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm bleeding and have questions
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
