I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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