I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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