i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
