I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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