Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
