come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
