Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Everything about him screamed your future.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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