I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
