my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
