Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
