four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
