I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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