you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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