is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
