she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
