Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
