I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
