So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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