Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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