Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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