3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
