I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
