I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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